I got an email from my brother yesterday. Advice. Love. Tips. A two-year plan for me in outline form, even.
It made me want to cry, I did cry, and I know why. I'm not where I thought I would be right now in my life. I'm 26, I've done my schooling, I moved away from Mommy, and yet here I am riding a dead-end job, no serious boyfriend, and struggling to pay my bills. The worst thing about my life is that I'm not singing. Not really. And it's my fault. I never work hard enough. I'm never totally motivated to lead a singer's life. I don't spend my after-work hours practicing and filling out applications.
So. Now that I'm getting this out there, now that I've confessed my failings to "the void," I want the world to know I'm NOT a LOSER. I'm moving on and up. I must at least try... If I don't, I'll never know. I'm just getting started. It took a full year after graduating for me to get to this point, but... Here we go.
SO GO.
(Listening to: Au Revoir Simone)
3 comments:
hey alyssa, i know EXACTLY how you feel- you pretty much summed up my entire existence thus far.
i'm not an expert, but i think you've got what it takes- some people are born with talent and others are born with something magnetic that makes it impossible to keep your eyes off of them. you've got both of these things.
love & support,
megan
Ah I love Megan's comment.
And I know you wrote this forever ago and now you're back on track but I just wanted to say that we all go through this at some point. This career is friggin bonkers. I swear that no matter how all this turns out, I'm going to mentor young opera singers someday and not charge them three million dollars for a 45 minute voice lesson.
I recently acquired my own place and now I'm dirt poor because of rent, but glad to have my own place, but sad that I don't have money to do the things that I like. And I mean non singing things like, buy groceries.
I also didn't have a serious boyfriend on June 7th 2010. I actually still don't? And my brother gives me advice that makes me want to cry also. Partially because he's painfully honest and mostly because he's 17 years old?
Hehe, I hope this made you laugh :)
xoxox
Thanks Meg and Toya! Y'all are so sweet and it's obvious I'm not alone in these feelings. That helps a lot. Love you guys!
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